My “rules” on Vancouver men.

I have a theory on men in Vancouver: all the good guys are either taken and/or gay. The rest of them? Well, we all know that Vancouver is infested with douchebags, no matter which municipality you live in. Which is why I live by my own little “rulebook” filled with many life lessons learnt and compiled throughout my 21 years of experience with the male specimen.

1. Don’t date over the bridge. And by bridge, I’m talking about the Patullo Bridge aka the bridge that divides Surrey trash (Langley guys included…they’re odd) from the rest of us. My first ever real boyfriend was from Surrey. It was a great experience. But then again, that was highschool. Fastforward to now: “Penis pump” was from Langley. Need I say more? Cute halfer from lastnight at Fortune: douche chose to make out with a midget Asian chick. No thanks, no more. Done.
2. Don’t date Asians. We all know that I have made a few recent exceptions to this rule as of late… okay, well maybe in the past 1.5 years, but I think I’ve learned my lesson. I give one chance to the 30-year old and he runs away after he hears the “C” word (commitment for those of you who are clueless). And that was after six months. Most recently, I flew halfway across the country last month for an Asian man…which was amazing because I thought I was living in a Nicholas Sparks novel but super silly of me now that I think of it. The damn romantic in me. Must cut down. Getting tired of the disappointing surprises that come in small packages.
3. Must have own car and place. Sorry, but I don’t want to go back to the highschool days and take the Skytrain around to places and be all hush-hush when your mom is home. Over it. Next.
4. Grooming is highly encouraged. I remember back in the day when I had to dress my White ex-boyfriend because he was convinced he was 50 Cent. Yikes. I don’t ever want to have to go back to that area in my life again, thanks. Don’t even get me started on bad breath…
5. Do something useful with your life. I am not at all attracted to men who don’t have future aspirations. I am a pretty competitive and determined individual and I need someone who is just as neurotic as I am. Have goals, seek challenge…I like that. It’s a turn off when you’re still working at a grocery store and you’re God knows how old. Sigh.

However, if you do fulfill all of the above, please apply within!

16 Comments on “My “rules” on Vancouver men.”

  1. Tien says:

    How are we ever friends then? I think, most if all of those criterias fit me…. though less so on the grooming bit… except my hair. 🙂

  2. Friends are fine. But dating? Nevarrrrrrrrrrr. Haha!

  3. Bryan Ottho says:

    I fit all of those but owning a car. I could afford a car but I live downtown, there is no use for it! 😛

  4. […] I don’t know. They’re exes for a reason, right? And I gotta say, I have developed some massive standards after that, that’s for sure. GA_googleAddAttr("AdOpt", "1"); GA_googleAddAttr("Origin", […]

  5. […] desperation route but hey, why not? I want a perfect that guy that satisfies a), b), and c) in my infamous list and if I need to fish through all the men that I meet in person just to end up with disappointment, […]

  6. phil wannabee says:

    I think what you are saying is that they guys you have dated are douche bags and that you only date white guys. Does that mean white guys are douche bags? And if so, then why would you date them and not asian guys from your own culture? Do you hate yourself i.e. culture or are incredibly insecure so as to try to melt into the mainstream which you falsely believe is white? I think you are incredibly conflicted and I feel really sad for you. I hope you find peace someday soon in your life. Try not to be so angry at your own insecurities. We are all insecure at somethings. It’s ok! Taking it out on asian guys because you feel you can get away with (since they are too ‘nice’ in your mind and not cool) it isn’t very nice. These aren’t the hallmarks of a kind, compassionate, mature, secure or intelligent modern asian female. Also, some asian guys aren’t so forgiving too. Think and grow up stephanie becasue you are embarrasing yourself, your culture, your family, your parents, your grandparents etc. & especially all asian women. You are a bad example for other young girls like you were who were not intelligent enough to think beyond what another loud, bossy, self centered asian female decided to spew. Find peace in yourself stephanie. Where did all of your anger come from?

    • Hi there! I have dated a lot of douchebags, despite the race. To be honest, I’ve only dated one white guy but I have seen a few of them; most of the men I’ve dated actually happen to be Asian. So why white? Well, it’s just my preference — I am not usually physically attracted to Asian guys. I’m not racist and/or embarassed by my culture or how I was raised as an Asian. I have dated a number of Asian men which both had its ups and downs. Hell, if I’m being honest, gym guy (if you’ve been keeping up with my blog) is a Chinese man and is probably the nicest and most well-mannered guy I’ve ever met/seen. Why am I not dating him? A number of reasons.

      And yes, I have my insecurities which I am aware of. Yeah, you can probably sense my bitterness through my blog through dating douchebag after douchebag. And I am definitely not a good role model when it comes to men but if you look at my other accomplishments, I am sure you would think differently.

      Thanks for the input, random stranger!

  7. Makinze says:

    4.5/ out of 5 is not exactly a bad score right?

    • I suppose it’s above average?! 😉

      • Makinze says:

        just seeing this reply now and OOps that’s a wink?!?!

        hehehe…..but point of correction though, your opening sentence is wrong.i totally understand the feeling but try harder or relax your standards a bit?? btw, i’d call it a hypothesis since it isn’t yet proven! 🙂

      • Try harder?!?! What exactly do I need to do to try harder!? I think I’m putting myself out there enough which is bordering desperation. And hells no, I refuse to relax my standards. Settling = unhappiness.

  8. Not only are you racist, you are really a shallow person. Find love within yourself before you find it in a man.

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