Age is nothing but a number…or is it?

Agree or disagree?

As you may know, I love older men. But sometimes, my choice in men seems to…hm, upset some people. Not only are they douchebags, not only are they immature, but they’re also apparently too old for me. How old is too old?! My limit, generally speaking, is 35. It’s always been like that, ever since highschool where I severely, and not to mention notoriously, crushed on my socials teacher (I was 14, he was 28).  But now as I am getting older, it seems like the lines are getting a little blurry as well. Gym guy’s 41 and I freaked the fuck out when I found out last year. Yes, I admit that I freaked out cus he is like, 19 years older than me but the more creepy part was that he was 19 years older than me and still working at Safeway. Dealbreaker. But anyhow, I kind of met someone who’s a tad bit younger than gym guy but for some reason, I’m not really turned off. Maybe it’s because this guy actually has aspirations, an occupation, a career. 15 year age gap. It doesn’t seem too bad, does it?  I’ve seen guys with the 10 year age gap thing going on and yes, it was obvious we were at two different life stages. I even had that chat with someone who was 7 years older. Honestly. The only thing we had in common was, well, you know. I’m sure the same thing applies in my current situation.

If anything, this should be good/last long enough to provide entertainment to my oh so glam post-grad life. Yay. I mean, it’s pretty naive to think that he’s actually interested in me, right?

I’m excited.

Something Someone is making me smile profusely.

Listen, don’t speak.

When was the last time you actually listened to someone? No, I mean seriously listened to them. Nowadays, I am finding that people are so concerned with thinking about what they are going to say next to a person or they feel compelled to give their opinion and end up interrupting the person whomever they are having a conversation with. Stop. Perhaps you might learn something from the person who is actually speaking. Perhaps you will take something away that is more valuable than your two cents.

I use my blog as an outlet for me to bitch, ramble, and express myself. I’m not asking for a response from anybody but the comments have begun to accumulate. I’m not asking for advice. If I were asking for some, I would phrase it in a question; I would’ve asked for your opinion. Most of the time I am bitching about something. I write for myself; it’s therapeutic for me. More and more people have begun to tell me how much they can relate to my entries and often thank me for the posts I write. I want to say thank you to whoever reads my blog because most importantly, you are listening. Someone is listening. It’s comforting knowing random people out there care (or don’t) when I feel too ashamed or unworthy to reach out to my friends or if I’m having a rough week. Thanks for giving a shit.

Coping with loneliness.

Single. Solo. Independent. Those are common words I use to describe myself, namely my current marital status. Being single is great, it really is, but there are just those random days where I end up feeling like shit. I’m feeling much better now but the background of this blog post has been incubating for the past week and I really couldn’t find the words. And then I found it. Lonely. That’s another word, and perhaps a more appropriate word, to describe my situation.

For the past few years, I’ve been subjected to third wheeldom. Token single girl. The independent woman. All in all, it’s been great — focusing on school (done that), continually working on my business (always hustlin’), and desperately trying to figure out what I want to do (ongoing). But honestly — and this is me opening up — it sucks when you don’t have someone to share your happiness and struggles with. As one of the only single girls in my core group of friends, I’m finding it difficult to even reach out to my close friends nowadays. I feel like a burden, or that they have so much going on in couple world to the point where they’ve forgotten what it feels like to be alone. And it sucks.

It’s part of my nature that I refuse (or reluctantly) ask for help so I have adopted some not-so-great habits or methods of coping with loneliness. Men. I use and abuse them. Or maybe it’s the other way around? Who knows — up to one’s interpretation.  And to be honest, I can’t say I’m proud of some recent choices I’ve made. But honestly, that’s how I deal with things and sure, it’s not the most conventional way of behaving but atleast I get to experience a bit of temporary relief and companionship that I’ve been craving for the past few years.

Sad, but true. Because honestly, when was the last time I even went out on a real date? WTF is even considered a “date” nowadays?! My girl B defines a date as an instance where two people go out with the intention of dating. At the time I agreed with her. But now I’m beginning to question that definition. I go to dinner with people with no expectations because, well, I don’t want to be disappointed. And since disappointment happens so frequently with me, having that “intention” or even that thought becomes lost. It becomes an internal struggle. When you want something so bad, it just never happens, or the opposite happens. And then you have to start all over again.

I mean, I’m fine now. But I really wanted to jot down how I felt about this situation because I always get asked, “How are you single?”, “Any new guys?”, “Still single?” and it’s beginning to become mundane. Stop. Thanks.

I give up.

The End.

The gendering of cupcakes.

So I’m competing in the Enterprize Canada Business Plan Competition on Friday. I received feedback on my business plan lastnight and to be honest, I was a little crushed. I was expecting some honest critique, and well, it was brutally honest. I’m fine with that. Just means that I’ll have to nail the presentation aspect (and bribery aka cupcakes) of the competition.

But there was one comment that really stuck with me.  In my original business plan proposal which I had sent in last month to qualify for the competition, I was very general and vague (my mistake; dude, I was a week over the deadline — extension granted); HOWEVER, everything is backed up in my actual presentation with greater detail. Anywho, in my market research component, I stated that “Desserts are stereotypically catered to females”.  I acknowledged this.  This is a contributing factor as to why a large majority of my clients are of the female population. In response to this, the judge(s) in the qualifying round said: “It may be that Dolce Delights has been marketing itself using feminine designs, which is in fact alienating a large portion of their potential market“. I’m uncomfortable with this. As a lover of pink and ribbons and “cutesy” designs, the brand is reflecting who I am, what I want my business to look like, and how it will be represented.  In no way am I trying to discriminate my products from any gender. For god’s sake, I’m a Gender Studies minor.  I am well aware of gender issues, equality, and stereotyping. I do not believe by changing my branding to the colour blue and splashing Hot Wheels (haha aging myself here) silhouettes will garner any prospective male clients.

And WTF does “feminine designs” even refer to?  I’m just curious to hear a possible answer to this. Or, in general, how to better market Dolce Delights to the male audience. I think introducing more “manly” (and I say that in quotations for a reason) flavours like the maple bacon one I did a couple days ago is a better approach to be more male-inclusive.  Again, this is a product of stereotyping again which can be equally detrimental, which I hate doing.

Also, where/what databases can I use to actually conduct and gather concrete statistics on cupcakes to further support my argument that there is a need for my product? Art major here. Seeking business help.

New prospects to look forward to.

No, not referring to men. Sorry.

SInce that aspect of my life is pretty bleak, there are, however, a few things that have been a brewing in the past month or so that I have been anxiously and excitedly looking forward to announce. First of all, I made the Western Regionals for the Enterprize Canada Business Plan Competition.  I’m pretty stoked for this.  Ever since the SFU SEY competition I was in last November, I have been looking forward to any opportunities that would let me compete again.  I submitted my business plan and looks like I’ll be competing at UBC on Friday. UBC friends, feel free to holler at me that day/keep me company/cheer me on. Super excited.

I’m also really looking forward to the XY Boom Conference next week. As I have recently completed my undergrad and am desperately looking for a job, this conference is perfect.  It honestly couldn’t have come at a more appropriate time. Really looking forward to the speakers, new peers to meet, and professionals to network with.

On a similar note, I did hear back from the one and only job posting in my field. Hurray! Hopefully I am well-suited for it and I nail the interview. We shall see…

2012 sure is looking good so far.