Yes, you read right. And yes, this is definitely blog-worthy news. Who remembers S Club 7, the awesome British co-ed band that gave you hits like “Bring it All Back”, “Never Had a Dream Come True”, and “Natural”?! And who didn’t watch their sho S Club in Miami/LA/Hollywood (and pulling a Spice Girls, they apparently made a movie too – must watch)?! YES, well one of my favourite British bands is rejoining forces again for a reunion tour later this year AS WELL as a new album! Never had a dream come true….TIL NOW! Stoked.
And this is kind of hilarious. Before picture:
AFTER! Major weightgain and ugliness. Sigh. What happened to Paul??!
This past weekend in Seattle was a wild one. Comparable to my last trip to Las Vegas last year over May Long Weekend in the sense that I was constantly in the WTF? mindset. I honestly wish I had pictures to show you but my camera broke the night before (actually, I think it broke on St. Paddy’s Day…another story). Some parts were actually NSFW so perhaps it’s a good idea that there are no pictures… Anyways.
It was Friday. The sun was shining, had a tankful of gas, and was accompanied by a great group of girls, our trip to Seattle started off amazingly. Despite the horrendous traffic and manouevering through both Vancouver and Seattle rush hour, we made it to our destination: the Renaissance Hotel, our home for the weekend. Situated in the heart of downtown, it was perfect. Couldn’t have asked for a better location. Sweet.
Hungry and tired, we ventured out to Pink Door for some Italian and burlesque. Unfortunately for us, the burlesque show is only on Saturdays (doh!) but we still managed to score front row for the live entertainment which was an excellent accompaniment to our fresh pastas and budino. Had a little vino and bubbly, we hit the town. Where to go? After going to this disgusting bar called the Alibi Room (the gum wall was right outside of it — should’ve gotten the hint), we asked around and were saved by this awesome street performer. “1st Avenue”, he said. So we ventured off and we see a club that we previously researched on: Amber. And you wouldn’t BELIEVE who I ran into on the way: my ex, Carmen. WTF? The whole point of this trip was to have a girl’s weekend and to get AWAY from people. Oh well. Turns out one of his friends was having a stag down there for the whole weekend. Well, if you can’t escape ’em, might as well join ’em. And free alcohol, VIP status, and a hot tub afterparty? Can’t really say no. And if that wasn’t coincidental enough, the whole bachelor party was staying at the Renaissance too! Double WTF? And then married men hitting on me. Triple WTF? Of course this shit happens to me. Isn’t life funny? Anyways, my ex and all his friends were a definite contributing to the amazingness of my weekend, no lie. We also did a round 2 at Seesound Lounge and List as well. Who knew running into your ex could be a good thing?
Drunken times aside, the rest of the time was spent to eating and shopping. I had the most amazing chipotle mac ‘n cheese from Beecher’s, corned beef hash at Bacco’s, the freshest dungeness crab cocktail (x2) at Pike Place Market, beef ‘n cheese piroshkies at Piroshky Piroshky, garlic noodles at PF Chang’s (don’t judge, I absolutely love that place, despite being the only Asians in there — and we were not lost), buffalo mushroom and truffle cheese pizza at Serious Pie, and a hot mess bitch (biscuits with grits, sausage gravy, scrambled egg, cheddar cheese, jalapenos, smoked sausage, yup) at Biscuit Bitch. As for purchases, I kind of went crazy. I hardly ever shop in physical stores anymore but was able to get some serious deals. Fur vest ($31!!!), tights, new Betsey Johnson handbag, Betsey Johnson bowtie earrings, Seychelles lace-up leather wedge booties, Michael Kors wallet…and flaming hot crunchy Cheetos and mega mystery Stride gum (I love buying shit that we can’t find in Canada!). Quite happy with my purchases. Too bad I can’t salivate over them until Wednesday cus I left them over at my bf’s place. Go me.
Overall, great weekend! Not Vegas but it was definitely comparable in a non-glam, casual way. Made me see Seattle in a totally different light. Looking forward to going back!
I love how my job enables me to travel at a discounted rate – yay! Besides my trip to Asia this coming October, I am definitely looking forward to traveling in general, even if it is just for a quick getaway. So what is it for this weekend? Seattle with my ladies. Eat, shop, drink… yes please! See y’all on Monday!
…may be translated into “fear of getting hurt”. This sums up how I feel perfectly. I had a long chat with a couple of my girlfriends lastnight and revealed my current insecurity to them — pretty much the title of this blog post.
I’m in a relationship. It’s new, it’s exciting, it’s an overall great feeling. But for some reason (and although I am still early preliminary stages of the relationship), I still can’t seem to let myself fall completely. It’s because I’ve learned from my past experiences, namely my ex-boyfriend. Since I’ve been writing in my physical diary more often lately, I actually came across and started to re-read some of my older diary entries from some four years ago and the aftermath of my failed first serious relationship and honestly, it really scared me. That painful time seemed like eons ago. But re-reading those past entries (and this is why I keep a journal in the first place), made those feelings come alive again, just like opening an old wound. To demonstrate, here is an excerpt from an entry dated, May 4, 2008 — just two days shy of what would’ve been my third anniversary with Matt:
“I wrote the date on this entry but I have absolutely nothing to write about. School starts on Tuesday.. Fuck man, so much on my mind. I’m actually kind of glad that school is starting up again so I won’t have to deal with these extra thoughts and emotions. I keep parading around about how independent I am and how I don’t need anyone but I don’t know… It’s times like these where I just feel so fucking alone. I see couples all the time like it’s mating season or something. And it just makes me think about the situation I’m in. Single and alone. […] And I’m always hoping everyday that Matt will pick up the phone and call me. But when and if he calls me, I’d be the “strong” one and ignore it and pretend like I don’t care. That’s how I make myself appear “strong”. Oh well. Atleast I admitted it. […] I’m just wondering how much longer it will be for me to stop feeling like this…and if we’ll ever be friends again. I don’t want this miserable feeling in the back of my head anymore. I want out. Holy damn, it feels so good to cry.”
Wow. How powerful was that? And to believe that was me just a mere four years ago… I can definitely still relate to some aspects of it. How I’m scared to let go. How I hate it when things end. How I dread it when things end! Perhaps this whole fear of being alone and getting hurt and love itself is just a product of my parents’ divorce. I see it as something as preventable…and how desperately I do not want to end up like my parents. In the end, I just want to protect myself.
But my good friend K-Rae told me something really important that stood out to me (and practically in all of the conversations we’ve had over our three years and counting friendship) — that we are young and we make mistakes. Even if relationships end horribly, the memories are rarely regretted and the amount of growth that can be witnessed and experienced and can be brought out by that person is something that is unforeseeable until you let yourself go. Of course, I won’t foolishly fall head over heels just yet. I think there’s a way to be smart about this. And even though my old entries initially scared me, I can’t forget how much I loved being in love. This time around, I’m older, wiser, and more secure with myself. I know what I want (atleast for my 22-year old self) and I want to go slow. And being the most impatient person ever, me wanting to take it slow is definitely a step in the right direction that will hopefully and eventually lead me to my favourite four-letter word.
This is why you should (have). Behold. My Bachelor Canada video submission. Let the hilarity ensue.
The end. (I am now off the market, sorry boys!)
Also, big thanks to my friend Aaron for filming and editing this whole video. And additional thanks to Julia, Danielle, and Manu for giving me your “testimonials” (unscripted, I swear). AND a HUGE thanks to all the dick douchebags that contributed to my fabulous dating history and gave me tons of reasons to bitch and to audition for this show in the first place! Ha!
Usually it’s really easy for me to write how I feel but it feels like I’ve been in a stump for a long while. Either that, or I no longer want to publicize every detail of my life. But this is the truth.
Up until recently, my blog was primarily an outlet for me and my daily adventures and was very relationship-focused (or rather, my lack of a relationship), with the majority of posts on single girl probs and bitching about men. Now that I’ve been seeing a particular someone, I have to be honest — I have been holding back on my most recent posts. I haven’t been writing about him in too much detail because, well, I didn’t want to become one of those girls that I had previously bitched about, the ones who constantly talk about their boyfriend and whatnot. I didn’t want to be hypocritical even though I was ecstatic. I didn’t want to blog about how happy I was. Because no one wants to read about someone being happy. And that’s when I stopped blogging for a while. But then I realized, it wasn’t just because I didn’t want to blog about this guy, it was because I wasn’t writing for me anymore. I was writing for an audience. I loved the attention, I’m not going to lie. Who doesn’t? And that’s why being an attention whore sucks.
I want to say that I am back, but who knows. I’m home only half of the time, hardly have access to my laptop for my time away from home, and honestly, I am working on my privacy. I have always been a transparent person and everyone puts on a facade, or wants to be perceived a certain way. But it’s time I started blogging for real again. For myself. The reason I started blogging when I was 13. Because I love writing and it gives me someone to talk to without having to really talk to anyone at all. Can’t wait to get back to being real.