Taking it slow.Posted: 04/23/2012
Trying to reacquaint myself with my favourite four letter word — love — and I’m embracing and welcoming it with open arms. I’m glad that someone has the power and ability to not just make me feel a certain way, but has enabled me to actually see it…and hopefully, experience it once again.
I’ve only been in love once. And at that time, I was at a very difference stage in my life. I was still lodged inbetween an awkward transition — similar to my current state and how I am now — but it was different back then. I was in highschool and I was dating this guy whom I really fancied. We were very fond of eachother. Met eachother through a mutual friend and although there were a couple of girls after him, I was able to snag him in the end. After seeing eachother for a couple of months, we were finally “official” and I was soon falling head over heels. On our four month anniversary (remember when we used to keep count and celebrate monthly anniversaries?!), we finally said “I love you” to eachother. It was one of the best feelings ever, to have someone confess their love to you…and for you to feel exactly the same. Oh, how long ago that seemed!
But as our relationship grew, it had its ups and downs…moreso, on the downs as we obviously aren’t together anymore. We didn’t end on a particularly good note and I was heartbroken, desperate, and lonely for a good year and a half. My first love. Who was this guy and how come he was able to make me feel so strongly, in both a loving matter and, in the end, resentment?
That was four years ago. Ironically, four years and two weeks today would have been our sixth anniversary. But I’m glad those days are over. Everything happens for a reason and we definitely were not meant to be together. I was a completely different and naive person back then compared to the person I have become today. Nowadays, I am well-protected — my heart isn’t given away so easily anymore. I’m smarter, prettier, and talented. And I cook and bake better than your mama.
Sure, I’ve dated a fair share of questionable men, but I’m glad I held it out and waited for that special someone. And I’ve never been happier. I am sure not to screw this one up — if anything, it’ll be him. Let’s hope that won’t happen.