Those three words.

When is the right time? Timing, to me, is everything. And as a romantic, I am definitely waiting for the right moment.

There are so many factors to consider or in my opinion, normalized “rules” in the love game: length of the relationship, different stages of love, and who should say it first. I really think a lot of this is bullshit and totally fabricated.  Love shouldn’t be defined by these so-called boundaries, they should be guided by private, inherent feelings that are shared between two people.

I’ve expressed my concern, or more like gathering opinion from others, and it really is interesting to hear others’ perspective. I mean, afterall, their words don’t really matter to me. But really, it is all very curious. From the people I’ve talked to, ~four months seems to be the most average time to say it…although I think this varies between relationships. Second of all, there are different stages in love which are intertwined with age and maturity of the persons involved. I kind of agree with this. As I’ve said before, I was at a different stage when I was with my high school ex-boyfriend and my current more “senior” boyfriend is certainly at an age where he’s probably thinking of marriage so there are considerably different stages when it comes to love. I agree with this. But does it really matter who says it first? Last time I checked, love wasn’t or isn’t a race. (But for the record, he said it first and I withheld for good reason — everything needs to be just perfect).

I love you. They are three words that holds an enormous amount of meaning to it and it is a phrase that I do not throw around lightly. I love you. It’s coming, I can sense it. This month. I think so. Pretty sure. Yep.

4 Comments on “Those three words.”

  1. joylevel says:

    Like you, I don’t thow it around lightly either. I also believe in creating your own rules when it comes to relationships. Maybe ‘boundaries’ sounds restrictive but love is not some flippant feeling that holds no rules. Not according to my heart anyway.
    I think timing has to do with the person, and each relationship is a different journey, a new experience where we learn something new and we teach powerfully, too.
    My personal experience has been I have always waited for the other person to express their love first. Not because of some weird rule, but I always love first. I always love freely, and full out…
    What a great topic, thank you!

    • Thank you for the comment! It’s really great to hear your perspective on love. You’re absolutely right — love shouldn’t be bounded by “rules” but it definitely isn’t reckless bearing no rules. It’s somewhere inbetween, a good balance. Thank you for sharing your story with me.

  2. Peter says:

    Love is a word thrown around like it is disposable. Just because someone says they love you…do they really love you? Or do they believe that they do based on their own defination. I agree with your understanding of it.

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