It’s really time to grow up. Do you really think I haven’t matured enough in the past 5 years to see what your intentions really are and that you are all fully-grown, manipulative, pieces of shit? Yes, I would like you to stop contacting me. From now on. Forever. And no, I will not provide you with my number anymore.
But no, you’re just not getting it. And call me big-headed, but I am sure you read my blog. Goodbye to the users, abusers, exes, and exotic male dancers. I’m disinterested.
Don’t make me upload your texts, emails and messages to show off your desperation. And oh yes, if provoked, I will go there. But I’m holding back because I’m much classier than that now.
Someone pull me out when I start to get too deep, okay? Feels like I’m starting to lose a bit of reality, a bit of myself.
Time for a vacation.
This is what I’ve been thinking for the past couple of weeks. I really thought about it hard. Again, with this whole struggling transition into the real world combined with thoughts of moving out, buying a car, personal finances, the option of traveling, and studying (which I’ve conveniently forgotten), I’ve been stuck in a rut. I feel like I’ve been trapped. But what’s trapping me? My mistake was to blame it on being in a relationship. The mere thought of maybe, just maybe, my boyfriend may be holding me back from realizing my potential and reaching my goals, clouded my future. And it upset him. I mean, I was practically saying I was unhappy with him and the relationship and that clearly is far from how I feel. What I was doing was just finding excuses as to why I can’t reach my goals or, more accurately, why I can’t reach my goals with somebody.
Right now, I’m just lacking motivation. That, and I have a severe way of devaluing myself and my efforts whether it is my education, my business, or my career aspirations. I’m confident but not. I constantly need reassurance in order to succeed or to realize that yes, maybe I can do this. It’s something that I personally need to overcome any work on. Any advice?
Anyways, this blog is in major need of constant updates and new posts. So much has been going on but no time to blog and/or no access to my laptop and/or iPad (I’ve tried blogging from my iPhone but it’s just too much work! And I always have too much to say). Until next time…