Yes, you read right. And yes, this is definitely blog-worthy news. Who remembers S Club 7, the awesome British co-ed band that gave you hits like “Bring it All Back”, “Never Had a Dream Come True”, and “Natural”?! And who didn’t watch their sho S Club in Miami/LA/Hollywood (and pulling a Spice Girls, they apparently made a movie too – must watch)?! YES, well one of my favourite British bands is rejoining forces again for a reunion tour later this year AS WELL as a new album! Never had a dream come true….TIL NOW! Stoked.
And this is kind of hilarious. Before picture:
AFTER! Major weightgain and ugliness. Sigh. What happened to Paul??!
This is why you should (have). Behold. My Bachelor Canada video submission. Let the hilarity ensue.
The end. (I am now off the market, sorry boys!)
Also, big thanks to my friend Aaron for filming and editing this whole video. And additional thanks to Julia, Danielle, and Manu for giving me your “testimonials” (unscripted, I swear). AND a HUGE thanks to all the dick douchebags that contributed to my fabulous dating history and gave me tons of reasons to bitch and to audition for this show in the first place! Ha!
Spartacus. Finished the first season and mini series prequel in two weeks. Watch now.
Honestly, I never thought I’d get into this show but hey, it’s got full frontal nudity, glistening muscular men and blood. Something for everybody. Addicted.
Hello world! What’s new? Well, for starters, I now get evenings and weekends off which enables me to participate in fun things like:
– Cooking and baking for EVERYONE!
It also allows me to be coerced into mortifyingly grotesque eating competitions like the Balut Contest, hosted by my friend, Kym, owner and designer of Herro Hachi, which happened last Thursday at Little Ongpin in Richmond. Balut. You must’ve heard someone mutter that word before. For those who don’t know what that is, it’s a baby chicken fetus, eyes, beak, and all. It’s usually boiled and creates this “soup” inside of the shell as well as cooked yolk and egg white. Derricious? Ha. Now, mind you, I haven’t had balut since I was a child. So this experience was definitely…interesting. Or challenging? See for yourself:
So I was in the “Advanced” category… Why? I have no idea. Only because I had it before…but again…THAT WAS YEARS AGO!!! Anywho, timer was on for five minutes but we ran out early (ha ha!) after we collectively consumed 29 baluts. I contributed to 5.5 of those eggs! What up.
I love the Food Network. I watch it religiously. I love learning new recipes, adapting them, and making them come to life in my own kitchen. I remember back in the day when I used to watch Emerill Lagasse and Anna Olson on Sugar. They taught us recipes. Now, it’s all mucked up with reality TV shows and god awful TV personalities. Sure, there are still a few good handful of shows that actually teach you how to cook, but the majority of the shows on the Food Network are mainly comprised of reality-like shows such as Top Chef, The Next Food Network Star, The Worst Cook in America, Ace of Cakes, Iron Chef, Recipe to Riches… the list can go on. These shows are for entertainment purposes — I get that. But when I am faced with actual “cooking” shows, I’m left with Nadia G from Bitchin’ Kitchen who makes my ears bleed, Giada de Laurentiis from
Cooking with Cleavage Everyday Italian, and Michael Smith who loves to talk to us like we’re his kid, Gabe, when he was like 3 years old. Good god. Shoot me now.
My second favourite channel, on the other hand, would be Slice, which is so full of bat shit crazy girls on The Real Housewives (best show ever). I love witnessing all the drama unfold and I secretly do enjoy watching people lose their shit in their dysfunctional lives. It makes me feel a whole lot better about myself.
Overall, there has been an ongoing trend in the past decade. Reality is the new TV. People are interested in seeing what goes on in peoples’ lives. It’s entertainment, for sure, and everybody on TV, reality or not, is selling a personality. It’s fake, it’s scripted, but it sure as hell keeps me reeled in.
And yes, despite this post, I am still applying to be on The Bachelor Canada. Now, just narrowing down how I want to be perceived…
In an ideal chivalrous world, the following should happen before/during/after a bootycall:
1) Guy picks up girl.
2) Supply alcoholic beverages, chase, and condoms.
4) Provide earplugs. Sleep. No snoring and/or spooning.
6) Drive girl home.
Irritate me. Why is there an inherent need to label things/people? People feel compelled to slap a label on practically everything. Girlfriend/boyfriend, single/taken, butch/femme, top/bottom, good/bad, legal/illegal. The dichotomous way in which society functions is utterly problematic as there are many individuals that do not fit the cookie cutter mould. For example, intersex individuals. What’s that? Lady Gaga. Google it. As a gender studies minor, I’m very familiar with the term. It’s a grey area which can be described as neither girl or boy. An inbetween. No, not a hermaphrodite (in some cases, yes). Quick to label, see? It’s an example of a grey area. And considering the amount of people that do not abide by conventional standards, I am constantly baffled by the fact that these “grey areas” are still considered to be socially unacceptable. I really don’t understand the importance of it. Labelling, which is most often do in a negative way, demonstrates poor education and ignorance, in my opinion.
And titles. Everyone has a fucking title nowadays. Foodie. Blogger. Business Administration Candidate. WTF? I have a good laugh whenever someone follows me on Twitter because they try to squeeze in every possible title in their tiny Bio section. Uh, I thought Twitter was supposed to be condensed and to the point? Right.
First of all, everybody is a “self-proclaimed” foodie nowadays. Do you have any culinary training? Did you study at AI? Do you even cook? Not saying that these three things are necessary accreditation to be considered a “foodie”, but it bugs me when people try so hard blogging about food when they have no idea how it was cooked, prepared, the ingredients used, etc. It just makes me cringe a little.
…which brings me to my next point. Blogger. I cringe when my friends refer to me as a “blogger”. I don’t know. I blog for myself. I blog because I enjoy writing. I blog because I enjoy sharing my stories with others. I don’t get paid to do it. When people say “blogger”, they kind of refer to it as some sort of profession, but it’s really not. (but hey, if you can professionally blog, kudos to you…jealous).
[Insert undergraduate program] Candidate. This is hilarious. I always see business kids using this in their signatures. I’ve ranted about this before. The professors in my program actually sent out an angry email via our academic advisor to correct and prevent undegraduate from adding “candidate” in their signatures. Why? Because “candidate” means you’re in graduate school…which many of us sadly are not. Annoying. Stop.
I sometimes feel that there is so much weird shit on my blog that I need to balance it out with some academic stimulation. I hope I was able to rack your brain for a split second.