The other evening I received a phone call in the wee hours, nearly 5am. Normally, this would be fine on a weekday since I get up around that time to go to work, but no, this was the beginning of my weekend — completely unacceptable. Worse, it was from a number I didn’t recognize. Curious, I picked up the phone and just like times in highschool, the caller hung up. Annoyed, I went back to bed. To my horror, the same caller called again again and hung up! “Who the hell’s calling you at this hour?”, asked my boyfriend in annoyance. I had no idea so I texted the unknown, turned off my ringer, and went straight to sleep.
When I woke up, I found out that it was my ex. Yep, the same ex whom I tried to reach out to last year. It was kind of nice that he was reaching out to me this time but at the time same, it’s just plain rude and disrespectful to try and contact me at the most insane hour. He wants to catch up (which is completely fine with me although I’d rather do this properly in person) but although we have been in contact with eachother since Friday, I really haven’t learned anything about him at all. The conversation hasn’t gone beyond “What’s up? Nothing much, you?”. Disappointing, really. He just wants to find out if I have a boyfriend or not. And before you go off on thinking how egotistical I am, it’s true because that’s exactly what he asked me this morning at 1:34am. Last time I
checked creeped, he had a girlfriend and was very adamant on not seeing me ever. And now he tries to immaturely contact me after months upon months of not speaking to eachother? Fishy. Just hope he’s not hoping for some booty action from me cus it ain’t happening.
Trying to reacquaint myself with my favourite four letter word — love — and I’m embracing and welcoming it with open arms. I’m glad that someone has the power and ability to not just make me feel a certain way, but has enabled me to actually see it…and hopefully, experience it once again.
I’ve only been in love once. And at that time, I was at a very difference stage in my life. I was still lodged inbetween an awkward transition — similar to my current state and how I am now — but it was different back then. I was in highschool and I was dating this guy whom I really fancied. We were very fond of eachother. Met eachother through a mutual friend and although there were a couple of girls after him, I was able to snag him in the end. After seeing eachother for a couple of months, we were finally “official” and I was soon falling head over heels. On our four month anniversary (remember when we used to keep count and celebrate monthly anniversaries?!), we finally said “I love you” to eachother. It was one of the best feelings ever, to have someone confess their love to you…and for you to feel exactly the same. Oh, how long ago that seemed!
But as our relationship grew, it had its ups and downs…moreso, on the downs as we obviously aren’t together anymore. We didn’t end on a particularly good note and I was heartbroken, desperate, and lonely for a good year and a half. My first love. Who was this guy and how come he was able to make me feel so strongly, in both a loving matter and, in the end, resentment?
That was four years ago. Ironically, four years and two weeks today would have been our sixth anniversary. But I’m glad those days are over. Everything happens for a reason and we definitely were not meant to be together. I was a completely different and naive person back then compared to the person I have become today. Nowadays, I am well-protected — my heart isn’t given away so easily anymore. I’m smarter, prettier, and talented. And I cook and bake better than your mama.
Sure, I’ve dated a fair share of questionable men, but I’m glad I held it out and waited for that special someone. And I’ve never been happier. I am sure not to screw this one up — if anything, it’ll be him. Let’s hope that won’t happen.
Remember this post? Well, I thought it was basically a dead end — until today. I actually received a text message from my ex-boyfriend in the wee early morning and honestly, it caught me off-guard because I never expected to receive a response from him. We ended particularly on a sour note due to my stupid 18-year old decisions and his general untrustworthiness. That was nearly four years ago. I was sick of burning bridges so I thought I would contact him again and finally received a response today.
To me, it sounded cold because initially, I just wanted to grab a coffee with him and just catch up. He stated that he, too, wanted to catch up as well but couldn’t meet me in person because his girlfriend wouldn’t appreciate it. Me playing the devil’s advocate just thought this was silly. Dude, we broke up FOUR years ago! Why should it matter? Of course, I keep pressing the subject on and just realized how foolish I was being. It wasn’t until he told me how much he was crazy about her and how he didn’t want to mess things up that I realized that he was actually really happy. At that moment, I didn’t know how to feel. Being single for the majority of these past four years (and the numerous and “questionable” men I have met as of late), perhaps I was a little jealous. But that wasn’t it. I was geniunely happy for him. We are now on speaking terms and it’s just so interesting to hear about what is going on with his life and whatnot. How the times have changed — how much we have changed. I can’t help but feel happy for him. That he’s got his life together, that he’s got this amazing girlfriend now… Initially, I wanted to catch up with him in person to show him how hot I’ve become (yeah, sure) and all the awesome things I’ve been doing with my life. Show him what he’s been missing out on. Basically, I wanted to one-up him one every aspect of his life. But you know what? I am way past that. Is this what maturing feels like?
This is one of my favourite songs by Gwen Stefani. I remember listening to it and thinking, “God, I wish I could achieve this status with my ex”, and even though, we will never be friends, I’m glad to say that “we’re coo-cool”.
After an inspired brunch last weekend with my best girlfriends, a girlfriend mentioned she wanted to get back in touch with her ex, catch up and see where things were going. I don’t think they ended particularly badly but it inspired me to attempt to make amends with mine.
To be honest, my ex from highschool was the last guy who held the title of “boyfriend” — that was almost four years ago! We lasted a good three years and, well, that was highschool, right? Doesn’t really count but does at the same time. Anywho, we ended on extremely bad terms, hated eachother, tried to be FWB, and tried being friends until we finally exhausted all avenues and just stopped talking to eachother altogether. Of course, I’ve seen half of Vancouver’s male population (finance, trades, mostly), started my cupcake biz during that time, joined cheerleading, began to take over the world…and, well, let’s just say a lot of time has passed! I kind of want to see what he’s been up to. Last thing I
heard creeped was that he had a new girlfriend! Oh wait. I ran into them right when I get back from Vegas lookin fabulously fly and tanned. What up. Yeah, well I shot him a text the other day and no response. Ignoring me? Still thinks I’m crazy? New number? Either or, whatever he’s doing, I hope he’s doing okay.
I’m just really sick and tired of burning bridges with people… I don’t hold grudges anymore and I seriously want to change who I am. Oh well. I tried. Someone who knows him is bound to read my blog (how I used to get in trouble, but we’ll save that for another post) so please forward the friendly hello!
Facebook creeping definitely has its perks. It gives you the ability to creep on hot men (cue hot lawyer man), your friend’s hot ex-girlfriend (cue girl crush), and to my dismay, ex-boyfriends (ew). Yes. I am no longer Facebook friends with my highschool sweetheart but something with his name came up on my feed the other day. A little click here, a little click there, and next thing you know, I’m on his new girlfriend’s page. Now, let me tell you, it’s been just over three years since we broke up and I can’t tell you how weird it was to see him with someone else. And it’s been THREE YEARS. I’m definitely over him and have been for a long time and all but it was just an awkward, uncomfortable feeling you know? I had that feeling for about an hour (the feeling has subsided since then). But don’t get me wrong, I am definitely happy for him/them. I’m glad he has found someone who is just as Surrey as he is… zing!
Anyways. A question popped up in my head as this happened: can you picture yourself dating your highschool sweetheart today? I mean, there were a handful of people from my highschool who are still together and that’s great and all, but I cannot picture myself with who I dated back then. I don’t know. They’re exes for a reason, right? And I gotta say, I have developed some massive standards after that, that’s for sure.