What’s it like to be “normal”?

I wonder this all the time. What is it like to be “normal”? Normal, as in, having a full-time job with predictable hours, benefits, and ending at 5pm, on average. What is it like to not hustle as hard as I do, juggling 3 jobs at a time to just make ends meet? What is it like to really just work for someone else…and be totally, 100% happy about it? Serious questions here.

I work at a hotel, at another restaurant, and run my own business, managing everything from social media, to finances, to maintaining strategic partnerships and my one employee. I hustle, and I hustle hard. Not saying that other people don’t work as hard as I do, but honestly, it sometimes feels that way.

I compare myself frequently to my peers who are much more advanced than me. Typically those who were in Business and just graduated and got a job right away out of school. I wish I had studied harder in school. And/or I almost wish I had gotten a degree that would land me a job right away.

In university, you feel like you are really special (or atleast I did), that I was important because I was doing so much. I was busy and it made me feel like I was worth something. That my work meant something to people and that it was vital in a sense that they needed me to function. I hid behind business. Now, I mean, I am equally busy. It’s just work, work, work and trying to stay and shape and trying to maintain and healthy relationship while keeping up with my friends. Is this life? Is this it for us? Sometimes I don’t feel satisfied.

What is “normal” nowadays?

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Dear friends.

Don’t invite me out clubbing anymore.

Sincerely, your friend that is sick and tired of getting asked to go hang out with drunk 19 year olds in a dark room that don’t know how to dance.

I’m 23, in a relationship, and it’s fucking cold outside. Use your brain, please. I have better things to do than drink my face off. My grandma has been sick in the hospital, I don’t have money to burn, and, for the very last time, I HATE CLUBBING IN VANCOUVER. If you keep asking me, you seriously do not fucking know me very well and your texts and FB messages will go unanswered.

Have a great day.


Off to Asia tomorrow!

I can’t believe by this time tomorrow, I will be on a flight to Taipei. By myself. Holy crap. Is this really happening? Yup. So excited. Can’t hardly wait.

But it’s funny (well, not really) because this almost didn’t happen. Long story short, I had to rebook my flight last minute yesterday. I was on the phone with Expedia who, might I add, were very accommodating but in the end, they couldn’t do much to help me except cancel my original flight. Basically, the there was a small typo on my ticket which I thought would be no problem to fix. But no, it was apparently a big deal with Japan Airlines and they would not amend my name on the ticket. Fuckers! So pretty much, I had to scramble and get my shit together and find a new flight and pay a $200 cancellation fee. LUCKILY (and I seriously emphasize luckily), I was able to find a cheap flight via Delta Air that was actually $60 cheaper than my initial purchase. So, I basically just had to fork out $140 extra which isn’t bad. Thank god for kayak.com. Expedia was asking $1800… ha! Like I’m made out of money.

Anyways, since that is all out of the way, I am getting seriously excited for my next few weeks in Asia. I will be meeting my friends there and will have a few hours to myself to explore Japan when I get there.

Any recommendations? Just staying in Tokyo with no real itinerary.

Helloooooo vacation!!!

On another note, I have started a food blog (recipe-sharing blog to be specific), Umami & Me. Finally!


Nobody said it was easy.

Found myself in a stump again. How do I get out of these holes?! I seem to get on a roll, see some progress in some aspects of my life yet it’s at the expense of others. For example, family life was in a knot a couple months ago. Everything went downhill — my business took a three week hiatus, had no time/no motivation to go to the gym, and found unhappiness in my job. Although most things alleviated itself, I am once again stuck in a rut. Lack of motivation, procrastination, and laziness are starting to eat me alive. What is lacking here? Is it overall interest? Challenge? Commitment? All of  the above? Tired of being like this. What ever happened to the person I was during my undergrad, during the best days of my life? I was the best person I could be, in the best possible shape, with “the skies the limit” attitude. Now? I feel stuck. I feel stuck in the same place. Is this what life is really all about? Work, go home, cook, sleep, and repeat?

What ever happened to all those seminars I went to outside of class time in all the clubs, internships, etc. I was involved in? Did I ever take anything away from those? “Follow your passion”, “Do what you love”, “Don’t waste time in a job that you don’t love”, “Find a career, not a job”. Well, how exactly do that? How do we get paid by “doing something we love”? What happens if you haven’t realized what your passion is? Is there supposed to be a time when the light just flicks on and you’ll just know what you’re destined to do? How long do I have to suffer in this state of “trying to figure things out”?

I’m always thinking about the future. But what am I doing about the present? What actions am I taking to ensure (or atleast take steps to ensure) that my future will look bright? I’m so sick and tired of having the “what are you doing now”  or “what do you do” conversation. Sick of it. You know what I’m doing? I’m busting my ass job hunting every single week only to find out that I am “not qualified” for any possible decent paying job while drowning in a course that I never even wanted to take in the first place. What I’ve learned from university is that I am extremely good at taking orders from other people and I am horrible at making decisions for myself. I’m scared of taking that risk. God, whatever fucking happened to me?

It just seems like I’m running in a huge circle right now. Or maybe just running…as in how this post is almost a giant run-on sentence.

Or maybe I desperately need my vacation now.

Sigh.


Dear males associated with my 18-year old self.

It’s really time to grow up. Do you really think I haven’t matured enough in the past 5 years to see what your intentions really are and that you are all fully-grown, manipulative, pieces of shit? Yes, I would like you to stop contacting me.  From now on. Forever. And no, I will not provide you with my number anymore.

But no, you’re just not getting it. And call me big-headed, but I am sure you read my blog. Goodbye to the users, abusers, exes, and exotic male dancers. I’m disinterested.

Don’t make me upload your texts, emails and messages to show off your desperation. And oh yes, if provoked, I will go there. But I’m holding back because I’m much classier than that now.


My two cents on diets, shakes, and weight loss.

First of all, I am not a fitness expert, nutritionist, or dietition. Second of all…there is no second of all. Read and please enjoy. Agree to disagree.

So, I’m sure you have all heard about this “Body by Vi” product. This is apparently the newest and hottest multilevel marketing (who remembers Monavie?) product. It promises weight loss on a 90-day challenge. And what is the challenge, you may ask? Two shakes (I believe it’s a soy-based protein powder) — one for breakfast, one for lunch — and a light dinner. The whole point of this new shake is to decrease the amount of calories your body is taking in and minimize what you consume; generally, it’s just lowering your overall caloric intake to lose weight. Uh, the last time I checked, this wasn’t rocket science. Isn’t this just pure common sense?

Another fad that I heard about (and also a New York Times Bestseller) was “The Four Hour Body” where the author, Tim Ferris, an award-winning novelist, strictly dictates what you are to eat, meal-by-meal. This diet completely cuts out carbohydrates and encourages consuming large amounts of calories and is very protein (read: meat)-focused. Sounds familiar? Atkins diet ringing a bell anyone?

I don’t know… Maybe I’m being a hater or maybe I’m just being overly self-conscious about my own body because of everybody’s statuses and updates on Facebook or maybe because I’m almost 10lbs heavier than my peak three years ago, but I really think all these diets are just very silly. I saw another update today on Instagram with a very sad looking piece of chicken and sliced tomatoes and thought, “Gosh, do these peoples’ diets have to suffer so much?”.  It just seems that these diets are “quick fixes” or just shortcuts to actually getting in shape, toning up, and losing weight. Because yes, that’s great and all to be relying on smoothies to shrink down a few inches, but how about I check on you in about six months and see if that weight is still being kept off. That is my real concern, that these “diets” are not adequate enough to keep the weight off.

I am an advocate for people who are losing weight and sculpting their bodies in a “traditional” sense. I’m talking about eating healthy, drinking lots of water, and getting enough sleep. My current philosophy on this topic would be to work out often, stay hydrated and satiated, rest, and most importantly, know what you are putting in your body. I am really focused into putting whole foods into my diet. Monday to Friday, on the most part, am vegetarian. I rely on whole grains, legumes, and vegetables and generally avoid gluten, red meat, and if I can, cow milk products. I think the most important part of weight loss and losing inches is largely dedicated to one’s diet aka what food you are consuming and digesting.

Despite my bitterness, I want to say good luck to everyone on their journey to “healthiness”. Who knows, maybe that Body by Vi crap does work for some people and perhaps I am just challenging you to prove me wrong. Either or, I still think it’s a hilarious load of junk. Please stop sending me invites.

Thoughts?


The case of the ex.

The other evening I received a phone call in the wee hours, nearly 5am.  Normally, this would be fine on a weekday since I get up around that time to go to work,  but no, this was the beginning of my weekend — completely unacceptable. Worse, it was from a number I didn’t recognize. Curious, I picked up the phone and just like times in highschool, the caller hung up. Annoyed, I went back to bed. To my horror, the same caller called again again and hung up! “Who the hell’s calling you at this hour?”, asked my boyfriend in annoyance. I had no idea so I texted the unknown, turned off my ringer, and went straight to sleep.

When I woke up, I found out that it was my ex. Yep, the same ex whom I tried to reach out to last year. It was kind of nice that he was reaching out to me this time but at the time same, it’s just plain rude and disrespectful to try and contact me at the most insane hour. He wants to catch up (which is completely fine with me although I’d rather do this properly in person) but although we have been in contact with eachother since Friday, I really haven’t learned anything about him at all. The conversation hasn’t gone beyond “What’s up? Nothing much, you?”. Disappointing, really. He just wants to find out if I have a boyfriend or not. And before you go off on thinking how egotistical I am, it’s true because that’s exactly what he asked me this morning at 1:34am. Last time I checked creeped, he had a girlfriend and was very adamant on not seeing me ever. And now he tries to immaturely contact me after months upon months of not speaking to eachother? Fishy. Just hope he’s not hoping for some booty action from me cus it ain’t happening.